A few days ago, I was feeling a little discouraged. I had a goal that I wanted to reach and it did not happen as quickly as I wanted. I was feeling sad and on the verge of tears.
After reading that first sentence, how do you feel? Without judgement, just notice if it made you feel uncomfortable or sympathetic or happy. Be honest. If you truly connected with how the introduction to the blog post made you feel, great! If not, no worries, sometimes we are not in a place to do so and that’s okay as well.
When we are open and honest about where we are and how we feel it can be uncomfortable. In this day and age of happy-go-lucky Instagram pictures of our perfect lives, we can want to always put a happy face on everything. I do believe in sharing positive messages and try not to barf negativity online (or anywhere else in my life) but that does not mean I don’t share my not-so-fun feelings. I used to do this and it got me into some trouble.
We have these feelings as a guide to connect to our authentic self
When I had the not-so-fun feelings, I would push them away and “think” positively. It didn’t work because although I was thinking in the right direction, I was not feeling. I turned off my feeling button, for the good, great and not-so-great. I am refraining from saying “bad” feelings as I truly believe there is no such thing a bad feeling. We have these feelings in our lives as a guide to connect to our authentic self.
When I lost my ability to connect to my feelings, I lost myself and could not figure out who I was. Of course, like any SelfLove Junkie, I reached out to the best therapists and mentors. They helped me recover and get back to my feeling place and I found myself again - woo hoo! Once I connected to how I was feeling, I connected to my authentic self, I connected to my essence, to my spirit. It’s a large task to figure out why you are on this earth and it should not be taken lightly but once you find it, it’s go time.
Once I connected to how I was feeling, I connected to my authentic self.
So, how did I get from a place of feeling discouraged and sad to feeling inspired and elated? Well, first I knew what I was feeling. I knew that I put a lot of pressure of myself to “succeed” and this success is my own my head, there are no benchmarks to hit. I was honest with myself about how I was feeling and had a quick chat with a friend to verbalize the feelings. I realized that I was being silly! I am EXACTLY where I need to be and lots of great things and abundance are happening to and for me. Of course, it is important to set goals and be in action but nothing was going to happen if I was in a place of lack. I felt the feelings, figured out the reality of the situation and changed my feelings. By changing my feelings as well as my outlook, I had a new opportunity come before me. It was truly magical.
Want to use my plan to get to a better feeling place? Here is a step-by-step guide:
- Acknowledge what you are thinking and how you are feeling. Be honest. Are you putting yourself down? How does this feel?
- Say what you are feeling out loud. This may be to a friend or mentor; if you don’t feel like sharing then you can journal everything you are feeling and thinking.
- Look objectively at the situation. Is it true? What is the reality? Many times we blow things up before it has even gotten there. If you find you are in crisis, please seek appropriate professional help (this does not necessarily mean a therapist, it could be an accountant, nutritionist, personal assistant, etc.).
- How can you change your feelings to a better feeling place? Often looking at the situation objectively helps move you to a better feeling place. If not, what else can you do? Can you take a time out and watch a funny video online? Maybe stop and enjoy a really healthy meal? I have a friend that takes “mental health days” from work when she needs it, without guilt, can you do that too? Remember that a better feeling place may be anger; that’s cool, be there for a little, then move up to the next best feeling.
In the end, remind yourself that you are exactly where you need to be. Our lives are about lessons and taking a journey worth living. Your life will thrive when you connect to your feelings, allow yourself some vulnerability and a whole lot of compassion and love.